Keep spirit sacred.
Yes, I'm still kicking it around. And yes, I still think we do a better job with it when we are dealing with the children whom we know and love than our adult selves. But today I saw glimpses of keeping spirit sacred, of tiny acts of kindness, in many not-always-expected places. I saw it in my residents and students gently taking care of wounds on a couple of our patients. I saw it in the laughing face of one of the two year old son of one of my favorite patients in clinic. I saw it in the heartfelt concern and sadness that one of our nurses has for one of our young patients. Keeping spirit sacred....honoring those around us....maybe it's not so complicated after all. God does seem to be in the details.
Tuesday night (when I was in THAT mood) I emailed The Boy and told him that things in my life are too complicated and too confusing right now for me to deal with the mess that is us. Wednesday night I gave him a pretty tough time in a text message exchange. I mentioned on Wednesday's happiness/gratitude list that he came back with exactly the right thing then, and he really did (it's always good to hear that someone misses you because you're beautiful, smart, and funny). Today he finally answered my email from Tuesday. He answered it kindly. He made it clear that he has no intention of vanishing from my life, but he also is willing to give me the space I need right now. Do I think we'll be okay as a serious relationship? No, I honestly don't. These are the first times he's made me anything like happy in months and I keep reminding myself of that. But it also reminded me of how I got into this mess with him in the first place. Maybe we'll reach a point where we can simply rewrite the ground rules and start over. But some breathing space in the meantime won't hurt either one of us a bit and we'll see what time tells us.
Even though most of this is redundant from above, here's the Happiness/ Gratitude List, 26 July 2008 edition:
- Watching the folks I'm teaching provide truly compassionate medical care. It is a simple joy, but a great one.
- A laughing red-headed 2-year-old. Again, a simple but great joy.
- Daddy's new nickname for Tuckie. At the vet on Tuesday Tuck was most distressed that Kate wanted to check his bum. He spit, and I've never seen him do that before. So...he is now christened "Mr. Don't Touch my Privates!" Any chance we can attribute this to good parenting on my part and teaching him that his bum should be left alone?
- My CCTS pilot grant that is due Friday is done (I think). I finished the budget (ugh!) today.
- The Boy, when he's The Good Boy. When he's good, he's amazing. He's been pretty amazing this week.
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Now playing: Dave Matthews Band - The Space Between
via FoxyTunes