You showed up in my world tonight with a text message.
And I realized that I do miss you. I wanted to talk to you last week rather than this exchange of "I understand" messages.
It's not that I don't care about you. I care about you a lot.
It's that I'm trying to care more about me right now, and I don't know how you fit into that.
I do know that I crave those days when you would hand me your heart and when I felt like you worried about me. It's been too long since we've had that.
I feel like somewhere along the way I lost your soul even though I managed to hold onto your person. I want all of it, though. I need all of it.
And I deserve the best of you.
That is what I miss.
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Happiness/Gratitude List, 29 July 2008 edition:
- I had one of those days that The Boy refers to as one of my "Bad-Ass Doctor" days. Huge case. Huge. And it rocked.
- Being healthy again. Getting knocked flat in May made me really appreciate how different my abilities are when I'm on my game health-wise. It's good to be back here.
- Friends who you can ramble all over the map with in a conversation. Leigh and I had one of those today. Fun!
- Sleeping a little late (6 am) this morning. It was a pleasant treat, especially because both feline accomplices were in bed when I awoke.
- Being strong enough not to call, no matter how tempted I was. I know, I do miss The Boy. But until he can make his heart available again, I have to keep distance between us.
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Now playing: Randy Rogers Band - If Anyone Asks
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