I think the grant is done; Leigh and I are sitting down in the morning to verify. But I think it's done, and for that I am beyond grateful.
I'm sitting here praying for strength and praying for wisdom to say the right things, to not cry, for us to be able to reach some point that feels like peace- or at least isn't hurtful. I don't know if that space exists for us anymore. That makes me sad. I'm still ready to move forward but my heart wishes that we could reach something that feels like a resolution before I do. In some ways I feel a little crazy simply because we stopped working long ago- maybe that should be enough closure. You keep knocking at the door, though, and I need to know what to do with that, how to deal with that. My heart has one answer, my head wants another. I'm leaning toward trusting my heart, my intuition, because they seldom fail me. Someday I'll get more comfortable with that idea and will stop fighting it so hard.
And I'm trying to trust my intuition, my heart, with someone fairly new to my world. Again, maybe it's time to stop fighting it so hard.
Someday I'll learn. Maybe today. Maybe tomorrow. Hopefully soon.
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Now playing: Cross Canadian Ragweed - Lonely Feeling*
via FoxyTunes