I started out the evening having another of my, "Oh, crap, I'm flunking life!" episodes. Why?
- Our curriculum meeting was a struggle for me today. I don't belive we're getting much guidance, and while I know the goal is to engage bright, creative people in the process of what we're doing....well, let's just say I feel like I'm floundering. If there are people among us who aren't floundering, I'm not sure if I consider them incredibly smart or amazingly foolish.
- I ended up not walking out of the hospital until almost 8 p.m. Translates as no choir rehearsal. Also translates as "Hell is freezing before I'm cooking tonight." I had pizza for supper- veggie pizza, granted, but pizza nonetheless. I suppose there are worse choices...
- I finally got around to my workout at 9-something p.m. The biggest reason I got to it (and believe me, I almost had myself talked out of it) is that I didn't want to flunk on that front too. Yikes!
I know, I'm being a little bit dramatic with the whole "flunking life" thing. It's not that bad. I'm just wrestling with what the word balance means when I'm on clinical service- because it's clearly something different from when I'm in those non-call, non-service blocks. I'm having to force myself to declare what the truly most important points are and let the rest go. To be honest, I'm not entirely certain precisely how the priorities fall. It would appear that I have some homework to do in December on this front.
Happiness/ Gratitude List, 19 November 2008:
- Sleeping a little later than I should have. It was Tucker T's fault.
- Finally making progress on coordinating our echo/ ICU ultrasound workshop course for March.
- Telemedicine visit this morning with the Cutest Burn Patient Ever. I'm still sad beyond belief or words about her Dad but it was so nice to see she and her mom. They inspire me.
- Realizing that I really do need to turn over at least one choice to the person who rightfully owns it.
- Working on getting my grounding. I may be about to remind someone of a responsibility he agreed to take on to help me wage battle with my workaholic tendencies. I may be in need of some assistance.
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