(Begging forgiveness up front for recycling a song I used in early November. Not my fault that it's just right.)
I've spent the last 24 hours or so trying to talk myself out of feeling like a bitch if I choose to ignore him.
The Boy, that is.
He re-surfaced yesterday, via email, wanting to talk.
Honestly, with everything that went on during the last few months when "us" was falling apart.....I don't want to talk. I don't have anything to say. He has nothing to say that can change my mind or change my heart about us being done. He hurt me enough on his way out that I can't be friends with him. I don't hate him, I don't look at our relationship and think it was a Bad Life Choice. He renewed the kindness card with me one too many times, and it's expired. Bottom line is lack of trust, and I can't have that in a relationship of any sort.
So here I sit not feeling comfortable with anything. Because of being me, I don't want to be unkind and simply delete/ ignore his message. I worry that telling him that I don't want to talk will also be unkind, though it's the most honest. Then I get frustrated with myself for caring this much about his feelings and what he thinks- particularly within the framework of how little he cared about my feelings last year when things (not just us, but everything things) were falling apart.
Maybe the answer is to ask him what he thinks we have to talk about.
Or maybe, just maybe, I should just delete the email and go on.
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Now playing: Lee Ann Womack - Last Call
via FoxyTunes