I've started falling apart this week, and it's scaring the Hell out of me.
My piriformis is back in spasm, worst it has ever been.
I've gone back into workaholic mode, mostly because it's "safe". It's comfortable, it's the place I'm least likely to fail, and I don't have to feel things that I don't want to if I'm buried in work.
I don't have to be sad or angry or lonely or frustrated- I can just be.
Because, in truth, I am all of those things right now. What hurts the most is that I reached out to someone I trust and he failed me. No, I don't expect him to be a mind-reader and I didn't put all of my cards on the table. I did need a little kindness, though, and I didn't even get that. Evidently my inability to judge character persists.
Sad, angry, lonely, and frustrated. And not wanting to feel any of that because it just plain hurts- and right now it hurts a lot.
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Now playing: Allison Moorer - Send Down an Angel
via FoxyTunes