After a 4 am wakeup, I find myself across the country (back in Philly for the 2nd time this month) getting ready to give the certifying examination in surgery for the next three days. For the less-acquainted, this is what we all refer to as "Orals." They're arguably one of the most stressful experiences of any young surgeon's life; once you've been through them and get on this side, you come to realize that no on is in it to trip you up- they just want to make sure you're not going to go out and assassinate surgical patients.
All of that said, I'm locked in my hotel room reviewing general surgery topics that I don't usual see, reading up on a few things, making notes all over my examiner book. Some of that is my perceived obligation to the examinees, to do the right thing for them and make sure I'm not unfair or functioning from an inadequate data set. Some of it is my own fear that I've forgotten lots of general surgery since it's been a few years since I last took general surgery call. And the biggest part? Honestly, it's the whole "impostor" issue. I don't want anyone to think that they made a mistake letting me be here, and I definitely don't want to be the dumbest girl in the room.
With that, I've got a few more things to review before I head to bed. Sweet dreams, and have a happy week.
Now listening: Jackson Browne "The Pretender"Labels: NaBloPoMo