We couldn't all be cowboys, some of us are clowns

Not much to say, just sort-of muddling through the weekend, muddling until December 1 when I can try to figure out my cosmic game plan for being on service. I find I'm still beyond lazy about cooking even though I do enjoy it; I know it just feels like one more thing when I've already got the weight of the burn service. Maybe I can try pre-cooking in January and stockpiling stuff in the freezer for the 3 weeks I'm on. Maybe I need a cabana boy who can cook.

I'm feeling guilty for not getting "other" stuff done right now while I'm on service, but it's just plain hard to do and I already get home late enough that I don't feel terribly compelled to stay later to run statistics or write manuscripts or whatever. I think some of that is probably related to my "Wait! I've got more publications than all of the other junior faculty hired in the last 4 years combined! Seems to me I can slow down" epiphany. Part of it is definitely that bit about moving away from proving myself and doing things simply to please others. No, I'm not working on being a bitch- I'm just working on doing what I want to do. Being in my office until 10 or later every night does not appear on that list. In truth, it never did but I was willing to tolerate it to get to a certain place. I'm past that place now so I'm making up new rules that I like better.

Happiness/ Gratitude List, 22 November 2008:
  1. Time at home with The Boy Wonder. The Kitten Project for him is ongoing. But he needs one. Soon.
  2. I'm almost caught up on my backlog of New Yorkers. Finally. This has been going on since September.
  3. Starting to look forward to my December vacation. Kauai will be very, very good.
  4. Finding containers of chocolate pudding in my box in the burn unit this morning. All because I whined about the shortage in the fridge yesterday :)
  5. Going to bed early (in about 15 minutes) on a Saturday night. And being totally okay with that.

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